Another year has come with new message, new hope and new possibilities. But it is not the joy of New Year that impelled me to take up my pen. It’s the pathetic suffering and unfortunate death of ‘Nirbhaya’ or ‘Damini’ whatever you call the 23-year old Delhi paramedic has left me in deep thought. What a society we are living in?

I would not salute her “sacrifice” because she did not choose to be tortured. I salute her brave heart because she wanted to live and fight.

I can not describe the feeling after reading the horrific story in detail about what was happened to her – it was shock, it was pain, it was fear, it was hatred, it was despair! It feels so bad that we could not bring her back to life. But the only ray of hope in this case was the COLLECTIVE NON-VIOLENT YET STRONG PROTEST OF COMMON PEOPLE irrespective of gender, age, status, profession, language and religion. Hope this is the beginning of the much needed CHANGE.

Yes, a thorough socio-psychological REFORM is needed to reduce crime against women. Death penalty is not the only solution.

Whenever a sexual assault or similar kind of crime happens against women I have seen many so called “educated” people pointing at the woman’s character. WHY? This is because it’s easier to do than to judge, stand up and protest. My appeal to them is – please stop thinking just like a MAN or a WOMAN, think like a HUMAN. The moment you raise your finger at the woman – Why she? What was she doing there? What is her background? – you actually encourage the criminal. And if she is a divorcee, if she lives alone, if she goes to the bar, if she returns late at night … things become even easier ( like in Park Street Rape Case). As if men have right to rape or do anything they want with a woman with such lifestyle!

Instead of protesting against a crime you are criticizing the victim even though you know deep in your mind that a “CRIME” has been committed.  If such criminals get away with what they have done there are chances they will repeat it. It can also encourage some other criminal minded people to try things like this. And this time it could be your dear one – your sister, your wife, your daughter.

Every time such heinous crime happens our “educated” and “respected” political leaders create controversies with comments that the way women dress up is the reason for such incidents and wash their hands off from any responsibilities. What the hell? My question is did “Nirbhaya” or other thousands of rape/molestation victims from ordinary middle class, poor families in city or in village dress scantily or provocatively? Or even if they do, does it justify such crime in an educated, advancing society? Then such incidents would be in highest number in Europe and America. But in concrete the scenario is actually opposite.

I know some people would restrict their daughters, sisters and wives to go outside or return late at night, or dressing up as they like. But that is never a solution. If it was, the TALIBAN REGIME would be the best place to live. They would have built up the most disciplined and safest society.

And can you guarantee that women are safe at home? NO, because… Dombivali rape case where father and brother arrested for raping a teenage girl is unfortunately nothing new.

And MEN if you ask your sister, your wife, your daughter or your female friends you’ll rarely find one who has not experienced stalking, teasing or minor sexual harassment especially in their teens.

So, it’s time to wake up. It’s time to stop blaming the victim when a ‘rape’ occurs. It’s time to stop make them feel that what happened to them was their fault. It’s time to teach our boys to take girls as human beings and not just a ‘woman’. And say NO to such perversion.

I am not sure if such evils can be completely eliminated from our society. From government’s part stricter law, prompt judicial action and harsher penalty in such cases is required.

But I believe education in grass root level, more coeducation schools, honest initiative from elders and teachers to stop discrimination between boys and girls, encourage friendly interactions between young boys and girls from the very beginning and of course teaching girls to protect themselves can reduce occurrence of atrocities against women.  It is better to heal the wound from within than keep it covered for protection.